How Can I Succeed at College?

Southeast Psych is thrilled to let you know about an upcoming half-day workshop for students who are serious about their college success.  Parents and other family members are also invited.


It will be Sunday afternoon, April 25th from 1-5:30pm at the Charlotte Marriott Southpark in Charlotte, NC.  The featured speakers will be Dr. Craig Pohlman, author of How Can My Kid Succeed in School? and Dr. Dave Verhaagen, author of Parenting the Millennial Generation.  Between the two of them, they have authored or co-authored nine books and have been featured in several national publications.


Dr. Pohlman and Dr. Verhaagen will cover such topics as:


* Individualized study strategies for college


* Effective time management skills


* Achieving work-fun balance


* Avoiding the common college pitfalls


* Connecting with your passions in selecting a major and a career


If you know a high school junior or senior or a current college student who wants to truly succeed in college, please let them know about this exciting workshop.


To register, please call Patsy at 704-552-0116 or go to the seminar's registration page.  

All the Brain News That's Fit to Print

by Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., Director of Mind Matters at Southeast Psych 

For anyone with an interest in education, learning, and building success for all students, I highly recommend the new book, The New Science of Teaching and Learning, by Tracey Tokuhama-Espinosa. Tracey is a pioneer in the fledgling field of Mind, Brain, and Education Science. In 2008 she convened 26 learning experts to sort the facts from the myths about the brain and learning. Astonishingly, this esteemed group concluded that just a handful of ideas about the brain and learning are actually well-supported by research. The rest are “neuromyths.”

In her book Tracy describes the “facts,” including that human brains are as unique as faces in terms of organization and that brains are dynamic and constantly changed by experience. In other words, each morning we wake with a different brain than the one we had when we went to bed.

Some of the “neuromyths” include that water is brain food (just because the human body is composed of a large amount of water doesn’t mean that chugging agua boosts learning) and that right-brained learners are more creative (the whole right- vs. left-brained thing hasn’t fared so well in the research).

Not only does this book have great content, but it is also a great read. Tracey takes all of this important information and crafts a compelling argument about how we should use science to make better decisions about teaching and learning.

Tracey is a Professor of Education at the Universidad San Francisco de Quito in Ecuador where she directs the Brain, Mind and Educational Development Institute and the Evaluation and Academic Excellence Center. She is also polyglot who is rearing her children to speak multiple languages.

Bottom line- cool book by a cool author.

Craig Pohlman is the author of How Can My Kid Succeed in School? and Revealing Minds, and co-author of Schools for All Kinds of Minds.

Is Your Student Ready for College?

by Dave Verhaagen, Ph.D., ABPP

What are the chances your high school senior will make it through her freshman year of college?  Kostas Andrea Fanti found that only half of incoming college freshman earn a degree in five years and, of the remaining half, a full 37% drop out entirely.  Most of the studies find that about 1 out of 3 don't return to their school after their first year.  In other words, a lot of students are at risk for not making it through their freshman year.  By the way, this trend has been going on for decades.  In a study of nearly 58,000 students back in the early 1920's, the author found that 32% of college freshman don't make it past their first year.

So who is at risk for dropping out?  Here's a partial list of some of the patterns that put a student at greater risk:

* Students who have had to be externally motivated and excessively structured by parents and teachers.

* Students who manage their time very poorly, especially with school-related work.

* Students with ADHD who do not manage their condition well (i.e., forget their medicine, don't keep their materials organized, procrastinate, etc.).

* Students who are prone to depression or anxiety in a way that makes them isolate themselves from others, get easily overwhelmed, or turn to self-medicating.

* Students who use substances regularly and/or drink heavily, especially if their use has already caused them to get in trouble or underachieve academically.

For these students, it is often important to seek out professional support or consultation before they go off to school.  Once there, they will often need support services at their university that can be accessed through the counseling center, the learning support center, or the office for students with disabilities.  It's almost always better to be proactive and set up supports ahead of time.

Dave Verhaagen is a licensed psychologist who specializes in working with older high school and college students.

Helping Kids Wash Away Worries

by Mary B. Moore, LCSW

Everyone gets worried or nervous sometimes, both kids and adults. For some kids, worries happen out of the blue for no apparent reason. For others, nervous feelings occur at certain times like when taking a test, meeting a new person, trying something new or leaving their family. Worried feelings are normal and a little bit of worried feelings even can be helpful. If we were not worried about a test, we may not study. If we were not worried about getting sunburned, we would not wear sunscreen. A little bit of worry or nervousness can provide us the energy and focus to tackle a challenging task.

Helping your kids to accept their worry instead of fearing or avoiding it is an important first step in helping them to successfully manage and use the anxiety in a good way.

The Good News: you and your kids can do something to make them feel better and prevent the worries from getting overwhelming.

Help your kids to:

Step 1: Recognize and accept the feeling

· Have your child ask themselves: What is going on in my body? What feelings and thoughts am I having?

· Help your kids to not be afraid of the “butterflies” in their stomach or the sweaty palms. It is our body’s way of getting extra energy to pay attention and tackle the situation.

· Validate your child’s worries with a simple “You seem very worried,” or “Sometimes I get nervous too.” Do not minimize your child’s worry. This will only make it worse. 

Step 2: Figure iut what is causing the worry

· Help your child to figure out what exactly is bothering them. For example, your daughter may have morning meltdowns about going to school. When what really is bothering her is not understanding math. Getting help with math may help reduce the school anxiety. Another example, your son is anxious about going to a birthday party. Through questioning, you uncover he is not sure how to start and carry on a conversation. Understanding what the worries are helps find ways to solve the problem and feel better. 

Step 3: Think about ways to feel better

· Self-calming techniques – take 3 or 5 really deep breaths, count to 10 (or 20 or 50), drink some water or splash water on your face, engage in a pleasurable activity (drawing, listening to music, reading)

· Take action to solve steps of the problem: if your child is worried about an upcoming math test, help them to organize their time and studying. If worried about meeting new people, help him practice questions and conversation skills.

· Remind them of past experiences of success. 

Step 4: Ask for help

Let your child know you are there to listen and help. Identify others in their life they can talk to when they are anxious or worried: grandparent, teacher, coach, counselor and friends. The message:

· "Talking to someone you trust can make you feel better and less alone when you feel worried. In addition, the person may be able to help you solve the problem which is making you nervous."

Sometimes despite our best attempts to help kids wash away worries, their anxiety begins to interfere with their daily functioning at school, home or on the athletic field. If you feel your child has become overwhelmed with anxiety, a professional can provide the additional support, guidance and skills to help.

Mary B. Moore, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in helping kids and parents cope with and successfully manage anxiety.

The Sibling Situation

by Lauren King, MA

Here, at Southeast Psych, we work with a great deal of children on the Autism spectrum. What we don’t see is what happens in their homes. Many of these children have countless hours of therapy in their home such as ABA. They might also have speech and OT appointments during the week. The child on the spectrum needs a great deal of support in order to function at the highest level of social, behavioral, academic, and emotional functioning possible.

The stress experienced by families due to the care involved for a child on the Autism spectrum can be tremendous. Parents can oftentimes express their feelings, but what about siblings? How do they feel about having a sibling who is different? What do they think about having different types of therapists in their home all week?

We know that the potential stressors for children who have siblings on the autism spectrum are changes to the family structure, feelings of confusion brought on by the sibling’s behavior, and loss of attention. They also experience feelings of jealousy, embarrassment, and guilt.

What siblings need right now and how you can help:

• Education about Autism/ Asperger’s (depending on age/maturity level): Have a “sit down”, and teach them about their sibling in clear and age-appropriate terms.
• A support network potentially of sibling peers to normalize their experience (feelings of jealousy, embarrassment, or guilt): Have them join a group such as Sibshops or the sibling support group at Southeast Psych (for more information, contact lking@southeastpsych.com).
• To be able to respond to peers about their sibling: Model problem-solving about peer situations when out in public or with family friends.
• Alone time with parents: Make a date with them each week
• Realize their own unique characteristics and strengths: Make a point to comment on their specific strengths and characteristics—their likes and dislikes
• Understand how to voice needs/Freedom to do so: Give them license to share feelings about sibling with you
• Learn coping strategies for having an Autistic or Asperger’s sibling: Model healthy coping at home. Support groups for kids also teach a great deal of coping strategies.
• Healthy modeling from mom and dad: Take care of yourself! We know that parental stress is linked to decreased socialization in siblings.

**The good news is that research shows that these kids are resilient, reasonably well-adjusted, and have good self-concepts. They are frequently more empathic than peers. In fact, moms and dads often overestimate the stress of the non-affected sibling.

Lauren King is a pre-doctoral intern at Southeast Psych who specializes in working with individuals with eating disorders, as well as children and adolescents who have autism spectrum disorders.

Is My Child Ready for Kindergarten?

by Mary B. Moore

This time of year can bring stress to a lot of parents as they begin to plan for their child’s leap into kindergarten for the next school year. Parents are often uncertain if their son or daughter is ready for the academic, social, and emotional demands of kindergarten. Would transitional or junior kindergarten be a better fit? Will my son be challenged? Bored? Overwhelmed? Which school is right for him?

As a mother of 3 boys, I have experienced this anxiety-provoking process first hand. Selecting a school for our kindergarten child was more exhausting than my college application process! After many open houses, conversations with teachers, parents, professionals, and research, my head was spinning.

As parents we want our child to feel successful in school – to learn, make friends, have fun and develop a thirst for knowledge. A successful school experience involves more than academic skills acquired at a certain age. It depends largely on the right fit and at the right time and how your child’s overall development – his or her social, emotional, physical, as well as intellectual behaviors will match a program’s curriculum demands.

Understanding your child’s developmental readiness can greatly assist you in the decision-making process. No two children are alike. For example, one 5 year old may need a very small class size which incorporates hands on learning and opportunities for physical movement. While another 5 year old may thrive in a larger class sizes with more table work.

The Gesell Developmental Observation is one component of a comprehensive evaluation which can provide individualized information about your child. Knowledge about your child’s developmental functioning is a valuable tool to help you make an informed decision about the best available school placement for the unique needs of your child.

While information is power, so are some other healthy tips. Here are 5 to consider for you and your child during this time:

• Get adequate sleep


• Eat well and exercise


• Maintain a consistent routine


• Do not try to coach your child for pre-admission testing: school evaluations and testing assess where a child naturally and independently functions. Quizzing your child does not help, it only creates stress and may have a negative impact on your child.


• Have fun together! Early childhood is a time of wonder, excitement and emerging growth. Laugh and enjoy this precious short stage with your child!

Mary B. Moore, LCSW is provides individual and family therapy to young children and their parents. She specializes in child development, parenting, anxiety, separation/divorce, grief/loss and Aspergers. Mary B. is a certified Gesell examiner and provides Developmental School Readiness Assessments to children ages 3-9 .

What is Body Dysmorphic Disorder?

by Dr. Bilal Ghandour

“I am fine but you’re obviously having a bad hair day.”

That line about ‘bad hair’ from the 1992 movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer popularized this expression commonly used today to describe a day when everything goes wrong. A day we hope will end soon so we can have a better tomorrow when our hair and, well, the rest of our life, is back in order.

But what if every day was a bad hair day? Or every day was a bad nose, skin, finger or ear day? We might all dislike one aspect of our body every now and then but when it takes on obsessive proportions and the experience is not reality based (read: everybody else in the entire universe think you look just fine) then it looks like what we call Body Dysmorphic Disorder. This problem in perception of one’s body can vary from thinking a microscopic pimple on a left cheek is the size of a soccer ball to the distorted state of mind of an anorectic person who is convinced she is fat when her weight is so low it endangers her life.

Psychologists have varied in their explanation of the causes of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Behaviorally oriented folks believe it develops from learning to make a lasting connection between the occurrence of a ‘defect’ (i.e., a pimple) and feeling bad. They call it conditioning. For example, if you develop a pimple as a teenager and you were having bad grades at a time, then you learn to associate the pimple with the bad grade. If you don’t learn to ‘unlearn’ this connection so to speak you might end up generalizing this link to other things and believe that whenever anything bad happens to you, your pimple takes on gigantic proportions.

Cognitive psychologists explain the problem by emphasizing the importance of how our mind develops these patterns. They argue that a repeated comment made by one or two folks whose opinion you value - possibly at a vulnerable time in your life - will lead to certain automatic thoughts as to how people view you. For example, if you were told to put a hat on to cover your ears because they are “kinda big” you might begin to think this is really how everyone thinks of your ears. Have not all middle-aged adults magnified the value of someone’s horrific mistake of guessing our age higher than it actually is? Don’t we sometimes automatically think – maybe for just a day or two – that everyone who looks at us think we already have a foot in the grave?

Psychologists who have a psychodynamic or, more precisely, a psychoanalytic approach (enter Freud) believe the problem is not really about one’s body but about other issues. They say it might be an unconscious hatred towards one’s parent or maybe a deep malaise about one’s life condition (e.g., stuck in a bad marriage, hating one’s job). For some however the deflection from relationship hatred to body hatred is conscious. But why do we not simply reveal or make conscious our real feelings? Psychoanalysts would say we tend not to reveal our true emotions because it is socially unacceptable to divulge that we hate the very folks who created us or announce to the whole world that we hate our partner (and can’t leave them). As a result, we begin to hate a part of ourselves that is socially acceptable to dislike: our bodies. The most famous example of someone who hated one part of his body (and we all know how much he hated his father but never really talked about it) is Michael Jackson. Just take a look at his skin change over the course of his career and you can notice how he constantly tried to alter the way it looked.

Finally, feminists and social constructivists have also given their perspective on Body Dysmorphic Disorder. And yes, you probably guessed, BDD is to a large extent a female disorder. Why? I will let your own mind think about it as you interpret this quote from Andrea Dworkin:

“In our culture, not one part of a women's body is left untouched, unaltered. No feature or extremity is spared the art, or pain, of improvement. Hair is dyed, lacquered, straightened, permanented; eyebrows are plucked, pencilled, dyed; eyes are lined, mascaraed, shadowed; lashes are curled or false- from head to toe, every feature of
a woman's face, every section of her body, is subject to modification,
alteration." (Dworkin, 1974, p.112)

Dr. Bilal Ghandour is a licensed psychologist at Southeast Psych who specializes in issues related to body image, binge eating, and self-harm.


REFERENCES


http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/bad-hair-day.html

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2225586/

http://www.britannica.com/blogs/2009/07/michael-jackson-bdd-body-dysmorphic-disorder/

Woman Hating: A Radical Look at Sexuality (1974)